Formerly loose cannon

Saddam's trial antics further prove what an icon of cogent reasoning, scholarly foresight and thoughtful diplomacy he is and has always been. Here he indicates to the judge and the court how many bonofide supporters really want him back in power in Iraq. Or is he talking about his Seahawks again.

Automatic response

I dislike automatic email responses almost as much as those automatic answering systems that most businesses use. Yes, I know they serve a purpose but that doesn't mean I have to like them. Anyway, there's no reason we can't have some fun with them. I came across these ideas for automatic email responses on another blog (OK, I stole them) and I'm putting one into use on my email today even though I'll be in.
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will only reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails until I return from vacation on Feb. 6th. Please be patient and your email will be deleted in the order it was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The great thing about this one is that you can see how many idiots did it over and over.)
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
7. I've run away to join a different circus.
And, finally, this one takes the cake:
8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret ' instead of 'Steve'.
Happy Friday!

State funded blather

As a citizen of a midwestern city that is home to a major liberal arts state university, as a parent that is paying tuition for a child to attend that same university and as a taxpayer I am regularly appalled by the varied and sundry blather, misinformation and rhetoric that is foisted upon my child and other unsuspecting young minds. I'm sorry for the students that accept as fact all they hear from a professor with a personal axe to grind or, more commonly, an underpaid, undertrained, wet-behind the ears teaching assistant. As with what we all get from the modern media, the majority of what those students will hear in almost any lecture hall or classroom will more likely be editorial than straight fact. I guess they might as well get used to it.

Another victim of "This Administration"!

You know, just yesterday I was bragging that it had been 3 weeks since I had had a cigarette or a cup of coffee and all of a sudden, out of the blue, I've had 2 of each today. I'm not sure how but I know that Bush, Cheney and those damn Republicans must be behind this! If only they had not rushed into this war for oil! If only they would stop monitoring all my private calls and emails! If only they would stop the torturing of innocent Muslims! Now they have coerced me into a relapse of addictive behavior! Those bastards! Where will they stop?

Sorry, another lawyer joke...

A guy calls his attorney, "How much would you charge me if I asked you three questions?". The attorney responds, " $400.00 !!". "Wow, that's a lot of money for 3 questions isn't it?", asks the guy. "Yes it is.", the attorney answers. "Now, what's your third question !!"

Sorry! I don't usually tell lawyer jokes because I'm in one of those professions that also gets alot of bad publicity, jokes, etc. However this one was too clever to pass up. Happy Friday!

Chocolate city?

Can you imagine the outrage if a white person... no wait! a white man...NO, NO, WAIT...imagine if a conservative white man said what New Orleans mayor, Ray Nagin is saying? Can you?? The only thing more amazing than what comes out of this guy's mouth is hearing the media falling all over themselves apologizing and explaining for him. He blames George Bush because he and his cronies had not prepared properly; for black-on-black crime; for the mess at the Superdome, etc., etc. and now he says that God is mad at New Orleans? At America? I don't think so! I think anyone paying attention, especially anyone in New Orleans, is mad at Ray Nagin and his ilk. Mad at him for not doing his job. Mad at him for pointing fingers. Mad at him for his endless racial bigotry and hate speak. Chocolate city my ass, build your chocolate city without my green tax dollars!

Missing video

Hey that reminds me, what has happened to all the video of the 9/11 attacks? Ya know, I understand not wanting to scar little kids with those images but come on like "Will & Grace" hasn't already scarred them! I don't think I've seen any video of that day since about 9/15. Those images, as disturbing as they may be, are a part of our history... our national personality if you will. We need to see that tragedy, we need to be reminded (some of us more than others) why we were willing to put the lives of our soldiers on the line in the first place. I think this ties into keeping our nation aware of the ongoing war on terror and supportive of our soldiers. Think of the holocaust, the thought of concentration camps and 6 million dead Jews is disturbing but once you see the photos and read the accounts it is more than disturbing...it is sickening! BUT seeing images of the holocaust recommits us as individuals and as a nation to never, ever let that happen again; and so it is with the 9/11 video. My kids are in luck, my VCR was on record for a week after 9/11 so that my family will NEVER forget!

Too much talking..

Notice how much talking goes on without anything ever being said? At least anything meaningful. Seems everyone has something to say. I noticed this about the time I started this blog and I've been listening...for a year and a half. Guess what? Not much new. The Democrats still hate the Republicans, the Republicans are still obsessed about why. Women still choose to kill their babies while Californians spend $50K plus a year to keep Charlie Manson safe, warm and fat. Reality TV still doesn't seem real to me(is it just me?) and Tom Cruise, et al, are as goofy as ever. Oh yea, and the media still won't tell what is really going on in Iraq!